Angels Landing...the definition of fear

I need to start by saying I have always wanted to hike Angels Landing in Zion's National Park. I have heard many horror stories about grown men crying while gripping the chains, people falling off and dying, etc. And this made me want to do it because....?

So a good friend of mine and I decided to take a little weekend trip to Bryce to hike down in there. I love Bryce (who doesn't?) and it's always fun to see how many blisters I can get and how much abuse I can inflict on my poor, gross feet. So we had a great day of hiking, taking great Bryce pics, and I even did my usual fall-down-and-almost-kill-myself routine that I always integrate into an outdoors trip. We were sore at the end of the long day, and I vowed to sleep in the next day and eat nothing that resembled trail mix.

But the next day came with an idea to drive to Zion's to do a few easy hikes, such as my usual Emerald Pond trails. But the idea of facing my fears and going up Angel's Landing was eating away at me. So, off we trotted to start what started as a beautiful stroll in a scenic canyon. This proceeded to a few hours of pretty quick switchbacks, which I felt were sort of steep. But as I was heaving and huffing and sitting on the side taking a break, I kept seeing smug teenagers trotting by in flip flops. This of course gave me the incentive to get to the top of the dang hill. I was of course in desperate need of a bathroom. Another smug hiker told me there was one at the top but that it's always locked at that time of year. Huh? So we ventured on, me whining about getting to the port-o-potty every few seconds. Looking down the switchbacks was much more fun than looking up to them.

At last we reach what I thought was "the top". It sure seemed like the top what with the steep drop off's I'd heard of, but I was suspicious that there were no chains. Evidently I was at "Scouts Landing", which is where scouts and other groups stop to eat, etc before mustering the courage to venture to the bigger part of the hike. I of course, ran to the potty, which indeed was closed, but had miraculous been pried open by some angel of mercy. Despite the odor from hell, it was the most beautiful place I'd seen so far.

The next little ways after the pottys was what is called "chicken out point". Which is obviously well put now that I have been through the whole thing. Most people see the set of chains and the poor suckers trying to ease their way around the side of the mountain with their flip flops on, and run for the hills. I have to admit, I felt some derision toward those ill-equipped non-hiker types just flailing

around the chains all willy-nilly. I figured if they could do it I could do...ahhh, ignorance is so very blissful. And for

some reason I was so fascinated by all of the goofy signage up there. Isn't it just common knowledge not to stand on the edge all precarious-like? I'm guess they are aiming for the lowest common denominator here, (flip flop wearers, that's you) and have to make us all suffer with the ACHTUNG! warnings.
It all seemed so easy, yet a bit scary, to amble up the little rock face while hanging onto the worthless chains. The problem was the tourists with small screaming children trying to get around you. Looking down was also a trip, as it was a loooong drop. I forgot to mention that my dear friend had back problems, and this was beginning to take its toll. So, once again I neared what I thought was the top. I looked out over the vast valley below with all the other tourists and sighed with relief. I had done it! I really did it! Then I saw a young kid about 20 walking some ways ahead of me and looking out over the beautiful vista. He kept shaking his head and saying "No way, no way am I doing that." I was curious of course. I walked up to him and asked what he couldn't do...jump? He then pointed to IT. The monster of all monsters, the REAL angels landing that had to be hiked. It looked like something out of an Indiana Jones movie. WHAT THE??? I sat down, but my head in my hands and just about cried. I had come this whole way and was NOT going to turn back. Of course, all the tourists had, and there were just a few die hards venturing up the chain which was going straight up a rock face with nary a smidge of room to walk from my angle. Honestly, this thing is open to the public? No wonder there are deaths there!

This little narrow strip of land is called the Narrow Neck. You traverse this and proceed to head straight up the mountain face on the craziest chains ever invented. The key is (I say this after seeing my life flash before my eyes) to NOT hold to the chain, but to carefully and slowly use footholds and handholds. My friend had long since decided this was not for her nor her back, and stayed behind promising to wait for me. Such a nice thought. Wait for me as I enter the afterlife? I honestly have not ever been filled with more fear and hatred for that mountain. But I couldn't face going home to my kids and telling them I got all the way up there and didn't do the entire Angels Landing hike. That I didn't make it to the TOP. I girded up my quaking body and crept forward. There were many tears shed, I won't lie. There was loud cursing, lots of resting, shaking and honest to goodness prayers. The drop on either side was unbelievable, and I could honestly see how even an experienced hiker could make a bad move and go over the edge. The edges were soft

and the thought of getting near them was beyond fearful to me. I have to admit that looking back over the place I had just come from, gave me a great feeling of accomplishment, but I still had a ways to go. Every now and then another poor schmuck would be coming down with a haggard look on his or her face. Some of them were the seasoned, cocky types, bounding over the rocks and avoiding the chains and scaring the beejeepers out of me. One day maybe I will be that kind of hiker, but maybe only in my dreams.

And speaking of dreams, when I reached the top, felt the wind on my face and the rush of looking out over that huge valley, I really was in a dream. There are no words for the feelings I felt up there. I was overwhelmed, so I sat down, kicked my feet up and had

a good cry.

I also got some nice man up there to take my picture with my tired by happy face on. I had no real thought as to how I would get down from there, but the joy I felt made that all just disappear. But the hike down did happen, and I was in grievous pain in my knee the entire, hobbling way down. Still didn't matter, I was happy as can be. We got down after dark that night and I kicked off my shoes to view the damage of my poor little duct-taped foot. Not too bad. I like to consider my destroyed feet living proof of a day well spent, and my biggest fears met.

Halloween in Oz

OK, we're off to see the Wizard! Halloween was awesome yet again this year. The night before Halloween, Lucy went to a YW activity and decided to dress as a boy. We had no idea how great she would look as a boy...very cute. Strangely cute. She was alarmingly weird looking and I felt like I finally had the son I never had. Wow. She creeped us all out with her skinny, bound down chest and her boy-swagger. We went to Hannah's grade school that morning and she skulked down next to me with a tough little look on her face. All of her former teachers walked right by her, never recognizing the little thug before them. I had to keep telling them it was her, and they were, of course, blown away. She was "Lucas" that day, but wanted to a more exotic name like Rico or something like that. I'm sure she wanted to yank that ace bandage off the minute she got home. She sent the pics to her friends and they all were impressed. Mostly they just wondered who the hot guy was and how they could hook up with him. Ew.
The next day, Halloween, we sort of forced Lu into dressing as the tin girl. She had done it the night before for dance, and it was a hit. She looked darling in her little outfit, but during dance I received a text that said, "My arm broke." What???? I about flipped my gourd. After much confusion, I realized she had broken the accordian-like dryer thingies on her arm that I got at Home Depot. Phew. So Lucy began her night helping a friend with a haunted garage, and had a difficult time leaving that kind of fun for family time, but she did it. Emma was at home nursing a cold and reveling in the idea of just not doing it at all. After a loud conversation, it was determined that yes, she would indeed get off her bed of infirmity and put on the green makeup and tight costume and uncomfortable shoes, and go out and flaunt ourselves on Halloween. It ended up being a great time for her after all, but her little green face always had a smudge of regular skin showing through under her nose...due to all the blowing.
We had many friends and neighbors to visit, which was easy since we had not ONE single trick or treater. What is happening? We do live in a townhome, which can be intimidating I guess, but come on. How can a trunk be more appealing than the old-fashioned traipsing up to the door and screeching "TRICK OR TREAT!" to frightened/frightening strangers? But my favorite part of the night was when we all started skipping down the street singing "Weeeeeeeee-'re off to see the Wizard!" As we came up to the Safadi's house, little Ammon and Yousef were peering their sweet little faces out the door and squealed when they saw us. We grabbed them and proceeded on to the house o' horrors...the Dukes. This has always scared the beejeebers out of Emma, and this night was no exception. The scary, silent, hulking ghouls in their living room grabbing your hands when you get the candy is too much for dear Emma. But we took pictures and ran on to the Crowleys, VanLeeuewens, and Tapps, where we took more pictures and effectively emptied them out of candy and cookies.

We ended the night at our friends the Hunts house. Lesley as Gepetto was probably the highlight of the night for us. Her cute/creepy little puppet was so hilarious and we got lots of mileage out of abusing that little puppet. We watched the scariest movie we've all seen yet (suspense-scary)...the Others. I loved the twist at the end and it reminded us all of The Sixth Sense. A perfect movie to watch on Halloween and we all drove home and Han and I jumped into bed together to dream of sugarplums...No, Sugardaddy's dancing in our heads.

Wait! Read this first...

Before you read the t-shirt guy, read the blog below it. I still can't figure out how to get it in the order I need it. Arrrggg!!!

So, I couldn't believe my eyes when the picture turned out. What the???? It's a dream come true! I laughed until I cried at this. Oh, only in Utah would you see this happen. So, they hauled him out of the Toby Keith concert, to uproarious applause from his fellow drunkards. I'm sure there was a broken jaw in there somewhere. My jaw aches with the memory just thinking of it...

Windows Live Hotmail

I am finally so excited to get these pictures! Thanks to Lucy and her expertise, we got them downloaded finally. Emma, myself and my college roommate Kris Duerden and her daughter Brynn all went to see Toby Keith. Kris' sister-in-law works for him and they generously got us free tickets. This was the obvious highlight of Emma's life, as she loves him so much. I am guessing she never really listens to the words to his songs, though she was singing "Whiskey for my friends and beer for my horses" as loud as possible. Wow. Anyway, Kris is one of my dearest friends and it's almost impossible for me to believe that it has been 22 years since we were roommates at BYU. What good memories those were, even though I was at BYU. Ouch! So, her darling daughter Brynn and Em and I just put on the ol' cowboy boots and had a blast. Though we were the only sober people there, we had the most fun watching all the drunks. My favorite experience there was the huge brawl between a very drunk man and security. The drunk guy was trying to shimmy up to the stage (we all know only the hottie women in the skanky halter tops are allowed there) and security tried to hold him back. The punches then flew. Big time, just like a real live barroom brawl. There was a massive dogpile on the ground of flying fists and punches and of course, I decided to inch forward to get a picture. As I got there, they were dismantling the pile and and hauling this guy off by the neck. The best part was the logo on his shirt. For your viewing pleasure...

Moab Vacay

This is my first attempt at blogging, so here we go. The kids and I took a fabulous mini vacation to Moab this weekend. I rented a cute little cabin/southwest adobe house thing that was tiny yet somehow equipped with everything we needed. Being a fan of hiking and the outdoors, I want my kids to participate in these things also, sometimes to their dismay, depending on the hike. The first day Lucy, Hannah, Emma and I drove into Arches and went directly to Balanced Rock for pictures and traipsing around, then on to Landscape Arch. We were walking in early afternoon, and came upon 4 deer right off the trail and got some great pictures. If I figure out how, I will post them! After lots of insanity on the trail (water/spit fights with our camelbacks) we got to the arch and took many fun pics. It was a perfect day, with the most beautiful sunset.

On the trail home it was beginning to get dark, and I jokingly told the kids to go fast because the coyotes were coming out. At that point, Emma became a mere dust cloud. I have never seen her move so fast, but in her literal mind, she truly envisioned packs of coyotes surrounding us! We laughed until we cried, but Emma would not slow down. So, just like the roadrunner, we lost sight of her. I finally hooked up with her toward the end of the trail and kept trying to tell her I was teasing, but she was deadly serious and intent on getting back to the car. Oh the joys of an Asperger Syndrome young adult! I love her quirkiness and her total adherence to the spoken word!

We spent the next day with our friends the Rytting's hiking to the big arch, Delicate Arch. It is a bit steep on slickrock for the kids, and we chose to leave Emma at the room watching movies. As usual, I mucked the situation up by forgetting somewhat of an essential...water. Hmmm. It was only 80 degrees out and an uphill hike for an hour. We ended up drinking all of our friends' water. Good thing someone was prepared. So, watching the kids see the big arch for the first time was incredible. Lucy's mouth gaped open and they both just said "wow". Understated as usual. We ate lunch up there and took many more pictures and watched Lucy face her fear of heights. I love the picture of us on the ledge in our walking stance. Hannah kept up so well and of course, we loved the hike back down. We were never so happy to trudge into the gas station and get gatoraid.

We took poor Emma on a fairly big hike up Mill Creek the next day. She did so great and the other girls helped her a lot. There was a fall into the water, a twisted ankle, but Emma was a trooper with it all. We saw what appeared to be small lobster (crayfish?) in a little pool and spent a good part of the time tormenting it. Don't let the Bergy girls out in nature, we tend to disrupt the fragile ecosystems in a hurry.

Our goal is to now make a major hike each weekend of the fall, and try to keep our antics to a minimum so as not to destroy our lovely mountain trails!